This be the first, and definitely not the last.

Since typing here is more convenient than writing endless words in a diary, i would try my best to fill you in everything about me and my chaotic life.
So like there's this guy Tiger (changed his name), we started talking before summer 2009 started. Everything was going well, we liked each other and we spent time together every single time we can. I was falling very fast especially when he told me "I'm falling for you every single time" (well those aren't his exact words, but something close to that.) I thought for a moment, WE WERE PERFECT. We would go to places, create memories together, eat cheesecakes and more, watch movies, and just hang out anywhere we can. We even held hands and kissed at school. When all of a sudden, last 3 days of school.. He changed! So I asked him what was up with him. "Im confused and im very complicated" those were his exact words. I wasn't, I know exactly what I wanted. So I tried to make him open up to me, try to help him understand what was our official status at that time. "We aren't going out, because we're fine like this, we like each other but we don't have to be in a relationship if that's what you're confused of" He was over-thinking things, when i was just chill and i was just living my life. Though, I was willing to give us a chance. But he totally turned his back to me and I was really hurt. I cried, but after how many weeks i was fine. I met new guys last summer, everything was fun. Then one day, Tiger, of all people texted, and confessed how much he missed me and his love for me still exists. I didn't really pay any attention to whatever he said, because then again he fuckin hurt me. School started, OMG we have 2 classes together. Geez, what were the odds? Now we're like inseparable at school. We always hang out, and now i'm the one confused. Maybe im falling for him again, but I don't want to. Im scared. I'm not the way I used to be back in the day when I can just commit myself to someone and just go with the flow. After all the experiences and mistakes, I don't wanna undergo through all that all over again. I just wish i will find the light to the right path soon, so I wont end up hurting myself or anyone.